45 Shell-arious Turtle Puns to Crack You Up

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Get ready to shell out some laughs with our collection of 45 hilarious turtle puns that are sure to crack you up. From slow and steady humor to snappy jokes, these puns are a turtley awesome way to brighten your day.

Shell-Shocked Puns

  1. Slow and steady wins the race, unless it’s a race against time, then you’re just turtle-y late.
  2. Why don’t turtles like to chat? Because they have a hard shell when it comes to opening up.
  3. I tortoise you were going to be on time!
  4. Turtles are always shelltered at home.
  5. You can’t rush perfection or a turtle; both are slow-motion masterpieces.
  6. “I shell come to your aid,” said the brave turtle.
  7. Turtles have the best shellfies.
  8. When a turtle has a rough day, it’s because things didn’t go swimmingly.
  9. A turtle’s favorite instrument? Shell-o, of course!
  10. On rainy days, turtles never get wet; they’ve got shellter.

Snapping Funny Puns

  1. Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station.
  2. What do you call a flying turtle? A shell-icopter!
  3. I told my turtle a joke, but it just gave me a blank shell stare.
  4. Turtles are great at hiding. They’re like ninja turtles, minus the ninja.
  5. What’s a turtle’s favorite thing to wear? Shell-vage clothing.
  6. If turtles had a favorite country, it would be Shell-y (Chile).
  7. Never play cards with a turtle; they tend to shell out the bad cards.
  8. What did the turtle say to its lover? “You really bring me out of my shell.”
  9. Turtles don’t text; they use shell phones!
  10. A turtle’s favori-shell book is “The Great Gatsby”. They love the slow pace.

Let’s Turtle About Love Puns

  1. Turtles might move slow, but they are quick to love shell-fishly.
  2. When turtles find their soulmate, it’s shell-mate at first sight.
  3. My turtle doesn’t like to share; you could say it’s a bit shellfish.
  4. Turtles tell their kids, “Shell in love, break a leg, but not your shell.”
  5. The way to a turtle’s heart? A slow, romantic slide into their DM (damp marsh).

Foodie Turtles Puns

  1. What’s a turtle’s least favorite food? Fast food, it’s just not their pace.
  2. A turtle’s favorite dessert? Shell-o!
  3. Why don’t turtles like spicy food? It makes them turtle-y uncomfortable.
  4. What’s a turtle’s favorite snack? Shell-ed peanuts.
  5. Turtles love Thanksgiving because of the pumpkin pie – it crusts at their pace.

Turtle Work-Life Puns

  1. Why did the turtle get a job? To shellter his family.
  2. A turtle’s idea of a dream job? Shellf stocker at the supermarket.
  3. What do you call a turtle in a suit? Shell-esman!
  4. Turtles hate rush hour; it’s too fast-paced for their liking.
  5. Why did the turtle refuse the job offer? It wasn’t shellenging enough.

Turtle-y Sports Puns

  1. Why don’t turtles play soccer? They fear getting a shell card.
  2. Turtles love baseball because it’s as pace-ful as they are.
  3. What’s a turtle’s favorite sport? Shell-ing, but with slow-motion replay.
  4. Turtles aren’t good at track; they always finish in shellow positions.
  5. The only exercise a turtle enjoys? Shells and ladders.

Aquatic Adventures Puns

  1. What do turtles do on boats? They shellabrate life!
  2. A turtle’s favorite dance? The shell-tle.
  3. Why don’t turtles go to college? They can’t stand the rush, plus they’re already armed with a degree in shell sciences.
  4. What did the turtle say when it finally reached the sea? It’s about time!
  5. How do turtles cheer for each other? “Shell yeah!”