50 Ssssimply Irresistible Snake Puns to Make You Hiss-terical

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Get ready to slither into a world of laughter with our roundup of 50 hilarious snake puns that will have you hissing with hilarity. Whether you’re a fan of these legless reptiles or just in need of a good giggle, these puns are guaranteed to entertain.

Hisssterical Introductions

  1. Why are snakes so good at online shopping? Because they are always looking for the best hisscounts.
  2. What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpent.
  3. Why did the snake break up with the guitar? They had a hiss-communication.
  4. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory.
  5. Why couldn’t the snake write an essay? He couldn’t find the right words to constrict.

Fangtastic Food Puns

  1. What do snakes eat for dessert? Pie-thon.
  2. What’s a snake’s favorite dish? Coiled greens.
  3. Why did the snake go to the French restaurant? To get escarglow.
  4. What do you call a snake that’s a chef? A bake constrictor.
  5. What did the snake do at the barbecue? Grill with his hiss-ter.

Slithering in Love

  1. How do snakes express their love? With hiss and cuddles.
  2. What did the snake boyfriend give his girlfriend? A coiled ring.
  3. Why did the two snakes get married? They had hiss-trionic attraction.
  4. What did one snake say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “You make my heart slither.”
  5. Why don’t snakes get lonely? Because they have a lot of reptile affection.

Sssscale-Tipping Work Puns

  1. What do you call a snake who’s a scientist? A phython.
  2. How do snakes kill time at work? They surf the hissternet.
  3. Why was the snake so good at his job? He was always coiled and ready to strike.
  4. Why are snakes so good at photography? Because they have a great hiss-perspective.
  5. What’s a snake’s least favorite job? A mouser.

Daily Hiss-haps

  1. How do snakes get around the city? They take the sssubway.
  2. What do snakes use to clean their floors? A reptile mop.
  3. Where do snakes go on vacation? The Bermuda Triangle.
  4. What do you call a snake who’s in charge? The Hiss Honorable.
  5. Why don’t snakes drink coffee? It makes them feel too coiled up.

Fashion at the Ssscale

  1. What do fashionable snakes wear? Scale-ves.
  2. Why did the snake go to the tailor? It lost its skin-ny jeans.
  3. What kind of shoes do snakes wear? Ssssneakers.
  4. What kind of belt does a snake wear? A seatbelt, for staying coiled in the car.
  5. Why are snakes so good at fitting in suits? Because they are experts at constriction.

Slithering into Sports

  1. What sport do snakes play? Hiss-ketball.
  2. What’s a snake’s favorite dance? The Mamba.
  3. Why don’t snakes like baseball? They’re afraid of bats.
  4. What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane? A Boeing Constrictor.
  5. How do snakes start a race? They hiss-t off.

Scale-Raising Adventures

  1. What do you call an adventurous snake? An explo-rattler.
  2. Why don’t snakes like going on roller coasters? They can’t coil with the loops.
  3. What’s a snake’s favorite game? Sssnakes and Ladders.
  4. Where do snakes go camping? The Great Outsssside.
  5. What makes a snake a good detective? They’re great at getting the hiss-tory.

Around the Globe Sssscale

  1. What do you call a snake from Egypt? An Asp-irational tourist.
  2. What do you call a snake from Russia? A Tsar-cobra.
  3. Where do British snakes shop? Sssselfridges.
  4. What’s an Italian snake’s favorite food? Pasta constrictor.
  5. Why did the snake move to France? Because it loved Parisss.

Night Hiss-terics

  1. What do snakes do when they get angry at night? They throw a hissy fit.
  2. What do you call a snake that likes to stay up late? A night adder.
  3. Why did the snake start a band? To become a rock python.
  4. What do snakes dream about? Being the king of the hiss-tle.
  5. How do snakes say goodnight? “Sweet hissdreams.”