30 Gut-Busting Medical Puns for a Healthy Laugh

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Get ready to laugh until your sides hurt with our collection of 30 hilarious medical puns that are just what the doctor ordered. These playful jabs at the medical world will tickle your funny bone and make you feel a whole lot better!

Operation Laughter: Surgical Puns

  1. I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
  2. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood.
  3. Surgeons are always so calm because they have a lot of patients.
  4. I told the surgeon I was anxious about my brain surgery, but he said it would be a piece of cake.
  5. Becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak according to my cardiologist.

Laughter is the Best Medicine: Pharmacy Puns

  1. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something or leading you down.
  2. Old pharmacists never die; they just can’t refill their own prescription for life.
  3. I asked the pharmacist for something for hiccups, and he scared me! Guess it was a free treatment.
  4. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
  5. Anti-acid pills are my antacidote to happiness.

Bone to Pick: Orthopedic Puns

  1. I find humorous really funny because it’s a bone, and it sounds like humorous!
  2. Did you hear about the skeleton who couldn’t go to the party? He had no body to go with!
  3. Why are bones so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
  4. Orthopedic doctors have their joints of interests, mainly in the limbs section.
  5. Breaking your arm in two places is very armful.

That’s Sick: General Medical Puns

  1. Iceberg lettuce: A head of cold conditions.
  2. I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.
  3. Nurse: I keep telling you, you’re not a glue. Patient: But I feel so bonded to this place.
  4. The guy who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now.
  5. Trying to write with a broken pencil is pointless.

Eternal Optimist: Eye Doctor Puns

  1. Why did the smartphone go to the eye doctor? Because it lost its contacts.
  2. Eye doctors are really focused individuals.
  3. I told my eye doctor I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes. He said not to worry unless they see me first.
  4. My friend claims he can throw a stick five miles and his dog will retrieve it. I think that’s a bit far-fetched.
  5. Pupils are great learners because they are always dilated from knowledge.

Heartfelt Humor: Cardiology Puns

  1. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop anytime.
  2. Always take your heart break seriously, you can’t just get over it with a bypass.
  3. I wanted to learn CPR but I just couldn’t find the heart to do it.
  4. Heart specialists never start their work from scratch; they always have a beat to follow.
  5. Why are hearts so artistic? Because they know how to pump life into any situation.