Get ready to laugh your briefs off with our collection of 30 hilarious legal puns! From clever court jests to witty lawyer wisecracks, we’ve got enough humor to keep you in stitches from the courtroom to the conference room.
Lawghter is the Best Medicine
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down, just like a good law book.
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
- Justice is a dish best served cold because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
- I’m trying to organize a hide and seek contest for lawyers, but it’s hard because good legal help is hard to find.
- Why do lawyers always carry a pencil? In case they need to draw up a contract.
- What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.
- Why don’t lawyers trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- I asked my lawyer if he wanted to go for a run, but he objected to the motion.
- Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to become a baker? He couldn’t make enough dough.
- Why do lawyers wear neckties? To keep the foresight sharp and the arguments tight.
It’s Criminally Funny!
- How do you get a group of personal injury lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say fees!
- Why did the law book never win at poker? Because it had to deal with too many suits.
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
- Why do lawyers love tennis? Because it’s all about court coverage.
- Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants – but it pleaded for a tight defense.
- Why was the broom late for court? It swept the charges under the rug.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing in court!
- Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu – you get what you deserve.
- Why did the banker switch to law? She lost interest in her former accounts.
- How does a cucumber become a cucumber lawyer? It goes through a legal pickle.
Order in the Court!
- Why do judges love shopping? Because they enjoy retail therapy.
- What do you call lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems – unlike the law, which has solutions.
- When lawyers die, why don’t vultures eat them? Professional courtesy.
- Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every play has a cast – and so does every courtroom drama.
- What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? “We are both lawyers.”
- Did you hear about the justice who went to the gym? He wanted to work on his judgement call.
- Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? The sand might disrupt their briefs.
- How do you know if a lawyer is lying? Their briefs are moving.
- What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation.