70 Knee-Slapping Dad Jokes Puns to Share

Get ready to roll your eyes and laugh out loud with our collection of 70 hilarious dad joke puns that are so bad, they’re good. Whether you’re looking to up your dad joke game or just need a good chuckle, these puns are guaranteed to deliver some smiles.

A Punny Feast: Food Jokes

1. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumby!
2. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down.
3. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
4. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
5. I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
6. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
7. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it.
8. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
9. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
10. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.

Hair-Larious: Hair and Beauty Puns

1. What do you call a hairstyle that’s trying to catch you? A fringe pursuit!
2. Why did the mascara cry? Because it couldn’t find its lash-mate.
3. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
4. Why didn’t the head lice graduate high school? They were lousy students.
5. Why did the bald man fall in love with his comb? He could never part with it.
6. How do sheep get their hair cut? At the baa-baa shop!
7. What’s a ghost’s favorite shampoo? BOO-ffant!
8. Why don’t secret agents sleep? Because they never want to blow their cover.
9. My wig and I have a love-hate relationship. It’s sometimes on and sometimes off my head.
10. I have a joke about hair loss, but it slowly recedes from memory.

Let’s “Paws” for Animal Puns

1. What kind of dog keeps the best time? A watch dog!
2. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
3. Why did the cat go to school? To improve its purr-sonal development.
4. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans!
5. What do you call a flock of sheep coming down a mountain? A lamb-slide!
6. Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
7. What do you call fish without eyes? Fsh.
8. How do you count cows? With a cow-culator.
9. Why can’t leopards play hide and seek? Because they’re always spotted.
10. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

School is Cool: Education Puns

1. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
2. Why was the belt arrested at school? For holding up a pair of pants!
3. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
4. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
5. How does the moon do his hair? Eclipse it!
6. What did the calculator say to the student? You can count on me.
7. Why are obtuse angles so depressed? Because they’re never right.
8. Have you heard about the math teacher who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
9. Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
10. Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.

Groan-Worthy: Classic Dad Jokes

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
3. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
4. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
5. I would tell you a roof joke, but it’s over your head.
6. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
7. What does a grape say when it gets stepped on? Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
8. Why was the belt made out of watches considered a waist of time?
9. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
10. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.

Absolutely Electrifying: Technology and Science Puns

1. Why are electricians always up to date? Because they’re current specialists.
2. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
3. Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
4. What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
5. Why did the geologist go to art school? To study rock music.
6. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
7. How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.
8. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.
9. Why was the math book looking sad? Because it had too many problems.
10. What do you call a robot that takes the long route? R2 Detour.

Homebound Hilarity: Household Puns

1. Why was the broom late? It over-swept.
2. What do you call an elevator that jokes? A lifting spirit.
3. Why did the picture go to prison? Because it was framed!
4. Why did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? “Oh sheet!”
5. Why do candles always go to school? Because they wanna get lit!
6. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
7. Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank.
8. Why do chairs hate coming in late to meetings? Because they always get left behind.
9. Why did the sock plead guilty? Because it was caught behind the dryer.
10. Why did the house go to the doctor? Because it had window panes.