Add Class to Injury with Shakespearean Insult Bandages

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Accoutrements Shakespearean Insult Bandages

There is always one person in our social circle prone to falls and scrapes. Whether they are safely attempting to slice an apple or grabbing a newspaper from the stall, they will come back with bleeding cuts and wounds. Be a good friend and hand them a pack of Shakespearean Insult Bandages. They will be shocked by scathing insults but hey, your clumsy pal deserves it.

When your friend scratches his knee, praise his clumsiness with one of Shakespearean Insult Bandages. Quirky and witty, these Elizabethan quips add class to your whiny injuries.

Accoutrements Shakespearean Insult Bandages are actual bandages featuring Elizabethan jibes. When your annoying colleague cuts his finger or when your friend falls flat on the road, rub salt into wounds with these hilarious bandages. The tin pack contains 15 3″ x 1″ (7.6 cm x 2.5 cm) assorted plaster with a free prize inside. Each plaster is decorated with a beautiful image of Shakespeare and a funny insult from one of his plays. What’s more, the bandages are latex-free, so your allergic friend don’t have to worry about any skin reaction.

Insults such as “Thy wit’s as thick as Tewksbury mustard,” “Thy breath stinks with eating toasted cheese.”, “Thou art a knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats.”, and “Do thou amend my face, and I’ll amend my life” will tickle the funny bones especially if you are a fan of English literature. Keep it in your desk and lend a helping hand when an injured person comes to you with grazes and tearful expressions. Or give it as a useful gift to your accident-prone buddy who is forever cursed with inelegant moves and uncoordinated steps. Moreover, it makes a great addition to your classroom if you teach English subjects. Let your students see your humorous side and teach them a thing or two about Shakespeare at the same time. It is also a clever way to get back at nerdy people who flash their doctorates and sophisticated vocabulary whenever you meet them.


The insults are printed flat on the bandages, so they are better seen if pasted horizontally. If you wrap it around your finger, you might miss the witty quote. Next time someone comes crying to you with a painful boo-boo, shut them up by handing them a Shakespearean Insult Bandage. They will immediately stop crying because giggles will overtake them.


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